Well, I am officially a mom. It has been wonderful, challenging, scary, and tiring. But it has brought me an amount of joy and happiness that I didn't know I could have. I read some books and felt like I was pretty prepared for having a baby. Although I didn't have much experience with newborns, I was up to the challenge and figured it couldn't be that hard.
I was pretty much completely wrong to think I was even a little bit prepared for what having a baby and taking care of him actually means. There are no breaks, no holidays, no lunch breaks or time off. It is literally a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week job. I have never worked as hard as I have in taking care of Ethan.
When he was first born, he had jaundice and he had to be in an incubator for 48 hours straight. It was really difficult to have to not be able to hold him since we had just brought him home. Thankfully, they brought the incubator to our house, so at least I could take him out to breastfeed and change his diapers myself and not leave him in the hospital.
After that was all over, it seems he was not gaining weight as quickly as my pediatrician wanted, so I had to start supplementing with formula. I was really disappointed that I was not able to produce enough to just breastfeed. I did not like having to deal with formula and cleaning bottles all day. That alone was a full time job keeping enough bottles clean for each feeding. But we got through it and he finally started gaining weight!
Then, I had to go back to work to give my two week notice, he was not happy when I would try to breastfeed him when I got home. He had gotten used to the ease of the bottle and it was a fight every night to get him to breastfeed. When I was finally done working and able to stay at home, I thought it would take a while, but I was sure I would still be able to get him to breastfeed. I was wrong. He was not having it at all! Every meal time was a battle! He was crying, I was crying and eventually I gave in and gave him a bottle. I decided to pump so he could at least have the nutrition he needed.
I have finally given up pumping because it was damaging my "sensitive areas" and I just couldn't take being in pain all the time!
Even though it has been a lot of challenges, I am looking forward to having more kids!
He is the cutest, sweetest little boy, and I am so excited to get to see his personality as he gets older!!
Love it! Don't feel bad about breastfeeding, the same thing happened to Jennifer. She always had to switch to formula after just a short while. But her kiddos are healthy and fine. Just your touch, smell, voice and looking into your eyes as he takes his bottle, will make him know he's got a wonderful mommy. Love you. Mona
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